


Sexdecillion Shattered Pieces

by nindroidzane



Category: South Park
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Sex, Loneliness, Swearing, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11306208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nindroidzane/pseuds/nindroidzane
Summary: Cartman's been feeling alone and separated from his friends for a while now. And not going to Kenny's birthday party didn't exactly help that feeling.





	Sexdecillion Shattered Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a lil one-shot instead of new chapters yay

Tonight was a lonely night for Eric Cartman. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny had all gone off on the latter's birthday party to Casa Bonita, and he hadn't been invited just because he hadn't helped pay.

He sighed and looked down at his desk; covered in scattered papers full of doodles. He knew he sounded like an asshole saying that, but he didn't want to use his mom's whore money. It always pissed him off when he did.

His stupid friends didn't see it that way, though, they thought he was just being too greedy to give  _ poor Kenny _ some money on his sixteenth birthday.

Cartman growled, ripping up another doodle he scrawled of the three of them. Maybe poor fucking Kenny should pick somewhere his poor ass can afford on his stupid birthday.

He slammed his head on the desk. The dick should be glad they're going at all. Nobody came to his birthdays anymore. Not even when his mom got the ferris wheel and the animals.

They barely even liked him these days. It was exaggerating to call them his friends, but he couldn't let them go. As much as he told himself he hated them, he just needed them so much more than he could admit.

But every  _ hi guys _ he said got a  _ fuck off fatass _ , and every  _ screw you guys, I'm going home _ was a race to see if he could get away from them before the tears started to fall.

There was only one time somebody saw him cry as he ran, and that someone was Kyle. He had chased after him to kick his ass after one too many jew jokes. Of course, he caught up with the brunette's slow, fat ass and was skeptical of his crying.

Once Cartman got home from the hospital, he heard the usual noises coming from his mom's room. He went to tell her he was home and fine, and she didn't need to worry that he was late.

Not that he expected her to realize he hadn't been home yet.

He opened the door right up, usually immune to whatever she was doing in there from all the times he walked in as a kid. This one was different. This time screwed him up.

Kenny was in there, fucking his mom. He had no idea what to do at the time, his brain just wouldn't process what was happening. So he slammed the door, ran upstairs, and locked himself in his room for three days. 

None of his friends bothered trying to get him out. He was sure they had a great time laughing with Kenny about how funny it was to fuck the stupid fatass’s whore of a mom. Since Kenny's _so_ hilarious, and Cartman's _such_ an asshole, so he definitely deserves it.

Cartman shredded up another drawing of Kenny. He probably did deserve all of this, he had been a little bastard as a kid. Not even  _ I really needed attention guys, even negative attention was enough  _ convinced anyone that he wasn't awful anymore.

“Isn't that stupid fatass such a cunt?” Cartman mimicked the little ginger jew, moving a crappy drawing of him around the desk. “I wish he would just go die.”

“Oh, yeah, me too.” An even worse picture of Stan hopped over. “Hold on super best friend, he's making me so depressed I can't stop fucking drinking.” Cartman held up a somewhat bottle shaped paper strip to the Stan cutout.

“Mmmph mmmph mph!” Cartman yelled into his hand, cutting the Kenny in half with dull scissors. “Holy shit, I'm dying again you guys! Not that you'll even remember or give two shits while you do!”

“Oh my god,” he impersonated a tipsy Stan. “they killed Kenny!”

“You bastards!” Came the high pitched voice of Kyle. “That pisses me off so much, Stan! I'm a pmsing little bitch and I think I'll make up a faggy speech about how Cartman should just go kill himself already!”

“Wow, Kahl, that's a great fucking idea!” Cartman violently shoved the alcohol right through Stan’s face, ripping a hole. “Just hold on a second, I can't stop fucking drinking! I'm an alcoholic and my girlfriend keeps breaking up with me! Maybe I'm fucking gay!”

“Hey, I'll write a speech about that too! Then everyone will clap and tell me how amazing I am even though it won't do shit and you'll be drunk and single again by tomorrow!” Kyle screeched shrilly. The more sarcastic Cartman got, the higher the voices of the lookalikes got.

“You're sooo amazing, Kahl! I'm  _ sooo  _ glad you're my super faggy best friend! Let's go make out in a ditch and have sex with the whales because I'm a fucking hippie!”

“No, Stan, that's anti-semitic! Fuck your drunk ass Cartman's my best friend now, we can hang out all the time until I go back to you for no reason and smash his heart into a sexdecillion little pieces!” Kyle laughed like a psychopath. But it wasn't part of the act anymore. “Ha ha ha, just kidding! Sexdecillion isn't a number, I'm a fucking nerdy fucking genius, Stan, come suck my math textbook while I jerk off and-”

“Sexdecillion is a number, Cartman.”

Cartman dropped the paper dolls. His blood turned cold. “K...Kahl?” He whipped his head around violently. “Why the fuck are you in my house?!”

Kyle was standing in his bedroom doorway, his phone in his hand. The phone was pointed in Cartman's direction. He was fucking filming!

“You're supposed to be with Kenny! A-at Casa Bonita!” Cartman stammered. He didn't even know what emotion he should be feeling.

“I felt bad, and came to see if you were busy.” Kyle clicked a button on his phone, probably turning off the camera, and shoved it in his shorts pocket. “And I can see that you  _ are  _ busy.”

“Kahl, no, wait.” Cartman reached his arms out desperately as Kyle turned away from him to leave. “Please, please,  _ please  _ don't leave me here alone. Take me with you to Casa Bonita. I'll give Kenny all of my money, I promise. I can't handle it anymore, I can't handle you hating me. Any of you. I'll forgive Kenny for having sex with my mom, I'll ignore Stan's drinking problem, I'll even stop making jew jokes,  _ please  _ Kahl! I need you! I need all of you!” Cartman cried out, begging him pathetically.

Kyle didn't even look at him again when he walked out the door. All he heard walking to the stairs was the smash of skull hitting wood. 


End file.
